


The Christmasly Idiotic Adventures of Pearl and Lack-Two, or the time when two idiots stopped an evil organization while being on a gift hunt

by Liyada



Category: Pocket Monsters SPECIAL | Pokemon Adventures
Genre: 2020 Specord Secret Santa, Crack, Gen, Parody, Proofread because I'm a coward, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:59:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28971708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liyada/pseuds/Liyada
Summary: Pearl liked Christmas. Really. Well, except when some (false) "Gift Fashion Specialist Journalist" disturbs all his plans and ruins his gift hunt. Why do he has to get a present for such a brat anyway?Screw up Secret Santa! This year, we're gonna kick some ass for Christmas!
Relationships: Lack-Two | Blake & Pearl
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12
Collections: 2020 Specord Secret Santa





	The Christmasly Idiotic Adventures of Pearl and Lack-Two, or the time when two idiots stopped an evil organization while being on a gift hunt

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> After a week, here have the piece (and the end of it) I wrote for the Specord Secret Santa! Ash, I love you so much, so I hope you will enjoy this piece (or at least the end of it, that you still haven't read).
> 
> Big up to the Queen [Cop](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coppermatsu/pseuds/Coppermatsu), who took the time to proofread all of it and who made an amazing job.

“… Who are you?” Pearl stood, dumbfounded, on the doorstep of his house.

“Lorenzo Petrovitch Fitzgerald, Gift Fashion Journalist. Your friend Platinum Berlitz asked me to help you with your Secret Santa. Apparently, you have issues finding a gift, don’t you? I have to do an article for the trends in Sinnoh for the upcoming season and she asked me to bring you along.”

“What? Help? Article? Gift? Excuse me?”

“My car’s just here, I’m expecting you to be inside in five minutes.” The journalist gave a look to the pajamas the Determiner was still wearing. “Come on, we don’t have the whole day!”

On those words, Lorenzo walked to his car, letting Pearl alone with his reindeer slippers, his Magikarp pajamas, and the half-eaten abandoned cereal bowl in his kitchen. When he had spoken about his issues about finding a gift the day before and Platinum said she would use her relationships to help him, he had not really expected to find a snobby gift journalist on his doorstep the very next morning at eight o’clock.

Though… He could probably use a hand. Outside of Platinum and Diamond, he did not know any other Pokédex holders, and now he was supposed to get a gift for one of his juniors he knew nothing about. How great. And even if he could just buy a random item and call it a day, the perfectionist side of him was stopping him from doing as much. Everyone deserves a gift that will make them happy, not a mug they will put on a shelf and let it take dust for years, or an ugly sweater they would sell the day after on the internet.

He had to find a good gift for his recipient, it was a question of pride.

So he had tried to find information about this… Lack-Two? Who would have such a ridiculous name, to begin with? And for what he saw from the school videos he spent hours to find and the movie he had played in, he was the kind of womanizer who did not work at all and still got all they wanted. And unfortunately, it was also one of the kinds of people that infuriate Pearl to no point. He just could not stand them. And because the interest he had for them was as high as the one he would have for a pair of socks, he did not know what they would like. What could desire someone like this?

He could already feel this Secret Santa was going to be the death of him.

But well… A gift specialist might have an idea, shouldn’t they? If he could get to be the clown of the party for his and Diamond’s manzais and not for his failed present, that would be ideal.

“You’re late by exactly ten minutes and forty-two seconds,” Lorenzo stated as Pearl entered the car, clothes hastily pulled on and cereal still in his mouth. “And you are still as presentable as a striped red and yellow necktie wrapped in newspaper.”

“Well, you should expect that when you come to someone at eight in the freaking morning.”

“This is unacceptable. Next time, be fashionably late, please?”

“And how can you be fashionably late?”

“Like this…” The snobby journalist, whose hair was styled in a rather strange spiral, took down his sunglasses to reveal two shojo-style eyes. “Excuse me, darling, I am unfortunately late, as I needed to be perfect for you, my dear...”

The deep tone, the shiny eyes, the hand now holding Pearl’s, the setting was in place for an early afternoon telenovela. The comedian cringed as the journalist, putting his glass back and with his normal voice this time, added:

“See? This is how you are fashionably late. Let’s go now.”

As the car left the street, Pearl could not help but ask himself,  _ where did he see something like that already? _

* * *

Okay, being with a snobby famous journalist had its advantage. Like running through the waiting file and being the first ones to enter the store.

But it also did have its disadvantage. For example, …

“You know, if you are doing a gift for an Unovan, an M&M’s heart would be more a gift you do for a lover than one you’ll address to a secret recipient” Lorenzo drily said. “Are you in love with this, what was his name already, Lack-Two?”

“Nope, but if he’s a womanizer, he can use it as a gift to one of his flirts, right?”

“This logic, as you could see in my article about the logic behind a gift, is the fourth-worst, just after the neko maid outfit for a girl.”

“Sorry,  _ Master Fitzgerald _ , but I don’t actually read the Poky Mon Magazine.”

“Actually, this one was for the Pokeweed Fashion and Syrup.”

The morning was already well engaged, and under Fitzgerald’s instructions, the two of them had been spending their time in cake and chocolate shops, to do the “Top 7 foods to bring to your family-in-law’s Christmas dinner” or “The 14 th best chocolates to offer to your wannabe trainer nephew”. And after the ridiculously expensive store where a gram cost ten times Pearl’s allowance (and that he could sometimes find at Platinum’s house) and the 100 Pokédollars stores where you could buy a huge bag of revolting chocolate, they had ended up in the unholy M&M’s store.

In a corner, four sculptures of M&M’s, a yellow, a red, a green, and a blue, were walking on a sidewalk. Someone had the good idea to scotch pictures on them, of faces Pearl did not recognize, though he was pretty sure he already saw the red and green ones on television, maybe famous trainers? The wall was covered with tubes full of multi-colored candies. And with the tableware, the toys, or even the furniture, one could surely decorate their whole house on an M&M’s theme if they were willing to.

Though… The scent… After all the already strong ones he smelled during this morning, this one was the final blow.

So why was this damn journalist so willing to stay here? Why was he taking so much time, and giving more attention to the store’s staff than the actual products? Why was he acting so strange, was this the new hobby of snobby people? Pearl could swear, this Lorenzo was not willing to help him, but to use him as a carrier! And while he let Pearl deal with the payment and take the bags back to the car, he could disappear Arceus only knew where!

There should be something more into it. Shouldn’t be? But the more he was thinking about it, the worse his headache was getting. And the strong, sickening scent of the M&M’s all over him was not helping his case. The dizziness was making his senses sleepy. He could not wait to get out of this hell of a store.

“I need to make an errand to the konbini to buy food for my ‘Top 10 food to not put on your food gift basket if you have decided to put M&M's in it’ article, pay for those M&M’s boxes and wait for me by the car please.” Lorenzo said.

“Okay but… Why do you need a dozen boxes of M&M’s?”

“Don’t you see it? They are shaped differently, and subsequently, are gifts addressed to different publics” Lorenzo judged him. “Since you are that average to not see it, you are going to be the perfect guinea pig for the food testing. Hope you like salami, garlic sauce, French fries, and jellybeans. I calculated that they have 78% of being the worst food to associate with M&M’s.”

“You… No, you aren’t going to do it, right?” Pearl’s voice was trembling, his head spinning.

“Of course, I am.”

“I hate you.”

“The feeling is mutual, don’t worry.”

The journalist then disappeared into the crowd and the Determiner entered the queue, willing to go out of this store and to be done with this day as soon as possible. After this mockery is over, he will definitely look over Platinum’s contacts and erase all the weirdos in it, starting with this journalist. Really, Lorenzo Petrovitch Fitzgerald? Even his name was matching the character! Snobby, obnoxious, and in one word infuriating!

Why was he here anyway? The queue was too long, he was feeling sicker every second, and the people around him were giving rather weird looks. And a box of chocolates, really? It was so much of a random present, he could definitely not offer that to his recipient! No, he would find something more personalized, and without any help of this farce of a journalist.

With his decision done, he abruptly put all the boxes on the first display available before running outside. The world without multicolor chocolates felt like a liberation. The fresh air of the street, the melody of the cars, the snobby journalist and a Dewott roasting an M&M’s store manager in an alley, the snow layer wetting his shoes…

Wait, what? The journalist and the Dewott roasting what?

Pearl silently came closer. The manager was handcuffed to a dumpster, Lorenzo showing him a piece of paper before pinching and pulling his nose, while the Dewott used a Razor Shell move on an already exhausted Alcremie. Wait, this Razor Shell move… Pearl was sure he already saw it somewhere.

As someone who was rather good at predicting Pokémon’s attack, this one was kind of particular compared to the other Razor Shell he already witnessed. The way the shells were moving, the pose Dewott was taking at the end… It was definitely the same Pokémon he saw on that Foongus Girl movie. And despite having this Lack-Two as a trainer, he was obeying the journalist with sync you could only have with someone you put all your faith in. A relationship that, from what he saw on screen, the Dewott and Lack-Two definitely shared. Which could only mean…

“You’re my recipient Lack-Two, aren’t you?”

The “journalist” raised his eyes from the manager, frowned, took a steel ink pen from his pocket, brought it to Pearl’s eyes height, and said:

“You saw none of this. All you did was buy M&M’s boxes and go back to the car.”

Pearl blinked for a few seconds, before sighing and, with a precise movement formed by years of practice, slapped “Lorenzo”’s head.

“Stop here, kid, you’re not going to erase my memories with a freaking pen, I perfectly know what I saw,  _ Lack-Two _ .”

As the head moved due to the slap, the weird blond spiraled wig went out and arrived on the ground, revealing darker hair under a hygiene cap.

“I don’t know who you are speaking about,” the now unmasked Dexholder said, as the hygiene cap broke and his hair went back to his initial hairstyle in a “PUFF”.

“As far that I know, only you have this weird hairstyle.”

“It is pretty popular in Unova at the moment, and you’re one to speak, with your horns of a hair.”

“After his Razor Shell, your Dewott took the same pose as in the Foongus Girl movie you played in.”

“Yeah, he liked this movie and imitated the Dewott in it.”

“You really wanna play it like that? Okay, I’m calling the police to resolve it for all.”

“Not gonna work, I’m the police.”

Pearl stared at his junior and raised an eyebrow before slowly taking his Pokégear (courtesy of Platinum) and going straight to the number of the rather strange, but only policeman he knew.

“Hello, Mr. Looker? My junior from Unova, and also my recipient for a Secret Santa, is roasting an M&M’s manager in a dark alley at noon, is this normal?”

“ _ Oh, Mr. Pearl! Been a long time! Well, you should probably contact your closest police station… _ ”

“Cut this, Looker, it’s me” Lack-Two sighed.

“ _ Ah, Superintendent, it’s you! Still running around, I see! Don’t worry Pearl, he’s one of my superiors, if he’s here then there’s probably a region or world-wide crisis in preparation and his mission is to stop it! Good luck, Superintendent! _ ”

“Wait, Looker, I have EVERY reason to be worried!” Pearl gulped, but too late, the man had hung up.

“Looker had revealed my cover, that’s problematic,” The youngest sighed, ignoring the fact that the said cover had been blown even before the call. “I am Black no 2, Superintendent at Interpol, and also known as the Pokédex Holder Lack-Two. And you did just interrupt my mission to save the Sinnoh region from the newest conspiracy.”

“Wait, what? Aren’t you supposed to be a womanizer?”

“You see” Lack-Two ignored Pearl’s comment, “we recently discovered that a conspiracy had been going on in the whole region. The culprits are among the different shop owners all around Sinnoh, and I’ve been using my cover as Lorenzo Petrovitch Fitzgerald to investigate. Unfortunately, my bosses said I needed someone to operate as a guide and an alibi, as it is my first mission in Sinnoh, and it finally fell upon you.”

“You totally did it to know what your present was going to be, didn’t you?”

“And I still need you until I take down this conspiracy, so you are going to stick with me until we’re done. You can even consider it as my gift for the Secret Santa, as I do not care about the material possessions in this capitalist world.”

“And what if I refuse?”

“Well, I could arrest you right now, put you in a cell, and make sure you don’t get out before this little show you’re supposed to perform for the New Year Eve… What’s the name again?”

“No, you can’t! That’s supposed to be our biggest show ever, if I miss it our reputation in the industry is done!”

“You see? Now let’s go, we still have fifty asses to kick before tea-time.”

* * *

Okay, next time no matter what the suspicious person on his doorstep says, Pearl will not follow them.

That would allow him to avoid being half kidnapped by his junior slash police officer for the last week, just to go around the whole region to interrogate slash threaten different shop owners. This really was not how he had planned to spend his time before Christmas.

At least, they were making progress, or a semblance of progress. The culprits were willing to take over the world so they could sell their products better against corporations such as Amazon. And for this, they had decided to apply their plan on the night where everybody released their attention, the night of Christmas Eve.

Unfortunately, their ways of doing so were still unknown, and Arceus only knew how much Pearl wanted them to just confess already so they could stop this mockery. Because slapping people for a comedic purpose, yes, fighting some evil grunts because they wanted to destroy the world and the universe, okay, but roasting people with a police officer that had the emotional intelligence of a cucumber? No, thank you, he did not sign up for this.

And if this was the only issue… Because of course, there had to be this little detail, not that important but that, added to everything else, just took him to a breakpoint.

He still did not have his gift.

It’s not as if he had not tried. In the past few days, he had visited countless stores, seen more products than he ever saw in his life before, and had looked for something. And every time he had an idea, it would of course end with Lack-Two noticing it and calling him out.

“Where did you get the idea that I might be interested in a necktie?” The officer had said while handcuffing a suit shop owner. “They are impractical and can be an unnecessary weakness in a police uniform.”

“I don’t need a manga about a detective who was so reckless in his work that he got shrunk.” He added as he broke a coded message. “This would be an insult to my art.”

“Everyone knows that snow globes have been outdated for the last century.” He sighed while hacking a computer.

“What would I do with a plushie?”

“A food assortment would go against my diet.”

“A water gun? Are you really that dumb?”

And it had been like that for. The. DAMN. FREAKING. LAST. FEW. DAYS.

Pearl wanted to scream. To knock his head against the hard concrete wall. To lock in a bunker the organizer of this Secret Santa and to throw the key into the Dimension World. The more days were passing, the more he was losing his sanity.

He didn’t know if there was anybody out there that was looking after all the Dexholders, but he was wishing them a lot of bravery, with some of the cases they had among their ranks.

“What are you doing? We need to stop this truck, there might be valuable information inside” Lack-Two called his partner out. “And drop this thing already, we don’t need it.”

“I’m coming” Pearl sighed as he dropped his Gift Idea number 42.

* * *

“Oh, so you finally dare to show your faces, you dogs of this corrupted estate!” The Proteam Omega shop owner laughed in the evilest and more ridiculous way possible. “But I, the hero of the oppressed, will now put an end to your carnage!”

“Well, we had not even started yet,” Lack-Two deadpanned, “But thank you for doing the work for us, I guess.”

The duo of Dexholders was standing at the doorstep of the Sinnohan Unofficial Proteam Omega Store. They did not even have the time to take a step inside the shop that the owner had come to look at them with suspicious eyes and try to get them out. He had then started laughing and revealing himself as the brain behind the whole conspiracy, in a long monologue that Pearl had stopped listening half-way for his own sanity.

Classical villain.

To think that they still did not have a clue about who was the head of the conspiracy and came here only because Pearl, despite the Secret Santa thing, had wanted to buy something for Diamond because “He’s my friend since diapers, no way I’m not gonna take something for him, and it’ll be easier than a certain police officer I, unfortunately, happen to know…”.

A shame, really.

“Put your hand up, I’m arresting you for wanting to take over the world on Christmas Eve.” Lack-Two took his handcuff as Pearl yawned “Please follow me.”

“Oh, you think you can arrest me, miscreants?”

“Well, yes?”

“Nobody can stop me now!”

With a failed evil laugh, the man threw a smoke bomb and, after trying to hide behind his dark purple cape, ran to the stairs behind the counter. The two Dexholders looked at each other, shrugged with a deadpan look, before running after the mastermind.

They quickly reached a little storehouse, and though they could not go deeper, the shop owner had disappeared. Instead, they were welcomed by a speaker:

“You fell into my trap, miscreants! Now you are going to spend the rest of your lives here, not that it’ll take long!”

With a deafening sound, bars appeared and sealed the only exit, imprisoning the duo. Lack-Two immediately took off his left shoes to reveal a pocket-size blowtorch. With a sigh, Pearl raised his eyes to the ceiling, and stopped, not putting his eyes down, and instead gave a nudge to his partner.

“Hey, look at the ceiling.”

“What…” The officer complied, and his eyes lost all expression of life. “Really? A button to activate the elevator to the secret lair. Right on the ceiling? It’s too good to be true. But it looks like we are facing an idiot, we can try.”

Lack-Two raised his arm, ready to push the button, went on the top of his toes, and tried to make himself taller… There was a problem here, an obvious height problem.

“You’re too short for this, kid, let me do this.”

“You’re too short for this too,” Lack-Two deadpanned.

“We’ll see.”

With his eyes locked in Lack-two’s, Pearl took one of his Pokéball and released Tauler. He climbed on the Tauros’ back with a smirk, and while standing proudly, slightly raised his hand and pushed the button. Immediately after, an alarm resonated all around them and two shells moved apart to reveal an elevator door that opened with a ‘Ting’.

“Done.” Pearl smiled.

“You cheated.”

“Not my fault if you want to do everything by yourself. If there is one thing I learned with Dia and Missy, it’s that you can’t do everything on your own. Just accept a hand sometimes, it will do you some good.”

“Really funny,” Lack-Two sent a dark look at Pearl before entering the elevator, cutting the conversation short.

The elevator was like any elevator you could find in a random building: glass, a unique button, metal all around, and an irritating and repetitive melody. The duo entered, going straight to the secret lair, and, of course, because they were in such a hurry, the elevator was one of the slowest Pearl had ever been on. His foot was uncontrollably striking the floor, much to Lack-Two’s irritation.

When the door finally opened, their eyes fell on the shop owner… and a hundred Proteam Omega robots with bright red eyes.

F*ck.

“I see you were bold enough to escape from my prison, miscreants!”

“Not that hard when you literally put the exit button on the ceiling,” Lack-Two deadpanned.

“But you will never be able to escape my valiant army! Pro-bots, go on and stop those miscreants!”

“Is miscreant a whole thing with him?” Pearl asked. “Cause that’s starting to get really annoying.”

“Don’t mock me, miscreants!” The man yelled before disappearing behind a machine.

“Yeah, it is,” Lack-Two shrugged. “We’ll have to work with that for the time being.”

“Not that we’ll have a lot of issues against this robot-ch job…”

At this moment, the two closest robots from the duo froze, and their screen showed an interrogation point before a mechanical voice said:

“How are synthetic  _ a priori _ judgments possible?”

Pearl was taken by surprise, weren't the robots trying to kill them two seconds earlier? Lack-Two only raised an eyebrow:

“Did they really just quote Kant?”

“What’s Kant?”

“A German philosopher, I think it’s from his Critique of Pure Reason thing…”

“A what? What is German?”

“Forget about it, it’s like Pikachu and the mouse…”

“The what?”

“Nothing to worry about. But what did you say to make them quote philosophers?”

“I… just made a pun? A pretty bad one, I’ll not retain it for our manzais.”

“Can you do it again? I need to check something.”

“Are you sure?”

“Please!” Lack-Two ordered as some robots’ arms get replaced by circular saws.

“Okay, okay! Well… Kant’s work is… Kant-itative?”

More interrogation points appeared on the robot’s screens and Lack-two now knew their weaknesses.

Their systems could not handle puns.

And he had under his hand a comedian that used a lot of puns in his manzais. This burden was finally useful.

“Don’t stop making puns, it looks like it’s breaking their system!”

“Oookay? If you say so… The cheese disappearance is really mouse-terious? Bullshit is not bull-itical? This sea has boat-ential?”

The more puns Pearl was doing, the more interrogation points were appearing on the screens, and the more philosophical quotes the robots were saying. The two first robots had even started a philosophical café in a corner of the room, and as the second passed, they were joined by a rising amount of their comrades.

At some point, the Determiner gave a nudge to the officer:

“Hey, you should try too.”

“Try what?”

“A pun!”

“This is not in my line of work.”

“Well I’d kinda use a hand here, so please?”

“Okay, okay! Well… It’s not the hospital but a hot-spice-tall?”

Immediately, the silence felt in the room. Even the philosophical robot café raised their head from their “I think so I am” debate to stare at the policeman. And in both Pearl and the robots look, you could only see one thing:

Judgment.

“This… was particularly bad,” Pearl blinked. “After reflection, let the professional handle it.”

“It was not bad, it’s just you who can’t understand humor.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t take criticism from people who have the emotional intelligence of a cucumber.”

As to validate his point, a chorus of robotic voices emerged, agreeing with him, the nickname “Cucumber Officer” even starting to spread among the mechanical entities.

“Maybe, but it was enough to get rid of the last robots” Lack-Two shrugged. “Let’s go, we have an evil boss to beat.”

* * *

Here they finally were, after all their misadventures and days of running after different shop owners.

The tension was to its peak, nobody dared to even say one word.

The Proteam Omega shop owner and Lack-two were both staring at each other, pearls of sweat going down their temples in slow motion.

The final confrontation had begun… or at least, was about to begin.

“Why did you two pause?” Pearl asked. “You wanna make this moment dramatic, don’t you? But can you speed up, please? There is a special of ‘Johto best manzais’ on TV at four pm, and I don’t wanna miss it.”

“Indeed” One of the robots, who had strangely followed them, nodded. “Why did you put a breaking line when only thirty seconds happened between those two actions? And shouldn’t you try to keep this whole thing short, as you are already over the 4K word limit? You’re not even trying now. Go back working on your finals, it’ll be better for you.”

“What the hell are you speaking about?” Pearl asked while the two other idiots were still staring at each other.

“Ah, don’t worry, I wasn’t speaking to you. I’m Robort, nice to meet you, mister Pearl.”

“How do you know my name?”

“Google.”

“Make sense. Nice to meet you too, Robort.”

At this moment, Lack-two and the shop owner finally made their moves:

“I’m calling my most powerful ally, Dewott!”

“Then I am calling my ultimate weapon! Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon, I’m summoning you!”

The area shook, and the ground just behind the evil man opened in two, and a gigantic cannon came out, taller than any cannon Pearl ever saw before, and at its base there was…

“Why are there two balls at the base of this canon? Why does it look like a freaking *beeeeeeeeep*? Wait, why the word *beeeeeeeeep* get censored?!”

“Mister Pearl,” Robort said, “Stop saying *beeeeeeeeep*, we want to keep this story in the General warning!”

“You said it too! And how could it stay in General when there is a ten meters long canon that looks like a *beeeeeeeeep*!”

“Have you never heard of the Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon before?” Lack-Two asked Pearl. “This is the legendary cannon that the king of Kalos used thousands of years ago.”

“Oh, I see you know the Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon, young man!” The shop owner smirked. “But it is too late, this cannon that the editors once used to eliminate any problematic scenes in mangas will now erase you!”

“That’s two totally different backstories!” Pearl screamed, exasperated. “And why would a censor canon have the form of a *beeeeeeeeep* to begin with?  _ That's  _ the kind of thing that would be censored!”

“Farewell, miscreants! Nobody can stop me now!”

A red countdown appeared on the computer screens and an alarm resonated in the whole lair. The shop owner tried to escape, but Lack-Two threw his Adjustable Handcuff, and the criminal was promptly cuffed to a pipe. Finally, one problem was solved. they had already lost too much time on this pathetic guy.

But they still had the Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon problem at hand.

“So… How do we get this cannon off?” Pearl asked.

“Once activated, we can’t stop the launch, we can only destroy it.” Lack-two frowned. “I can use my Genesect, but I’m not sure it’ll work in time… Do you have any Pokémon that can use beams, or something else that can be handy?”

“No, my Pokémon can’t do that.”

“Show me what you have in your bag!”

“What are you now, MacGyver?!”

Lack-Two ignored him, took his bag, and threw his contents on the ground. There were Pearl’s essentials, his manzai notebook, of course, and all the gift ideas the Determiner had successfully hidden from Lack-Two’s crazy instinct: a Paw Patrol notebook, jaw clips, a book about how to express emotion, a dull cylindrical figure with two sticks as arms, a fanny pack…

“That’s it!” Lack-Two exclaimed. “The Justaway!”

“The Justaway? You mean the figurine? Why?”

Once again, the officer did not listen to him. With a deadpan look, he took the Justaway and squeezed its head before throwing it into the canon. He then released Genesect and took Pearl by the collar, with the Robort strongly holding the blond’s feet. Before he realized it, they were flying throughout the entire lair.

“Why did you throw a figurine into the cannon?! It’s not going to change anything!”

“Do you not watch the news? Don’t you know what a Justaway is?”

“Well, a figurine?”

“The one who created the Justaway did it to take his revenge against the company that had fired him. The whole company was taken down, but there are still some products that reached the market.”

“And?”

“You see, those Justaway…”

Suddenly, an explosion resounded behind them. Pearl looked back, to see the cannon falling apart.

“… They’re grenades.”

* * *

After those disastrous adventures, Pearl barely had the time to rest before they leave for the party. And here they were now, in the basement of one of their Seniors, with other people they, for the most part, barely knew.

A boy who called himself “DJ Sick Fires” was playing some… Music? On a cardboard stage. Soon, he and Diamond would replace him, and perform one of their manzai.

But before that…

“Hey, Lack-Two.”

The police officer was drinking a cocktail in a corner when Pearl approached him.

“Pearl? What do you want? A thank you for what happened.”

“No. Well, a thank you would not be too much, but, uh, I still have to give you your gift.”

“I told you I didn’t want a gift. Helping me with this whole ordeal was already enough.”

“I know, but I wouldn’t be a good Secret Santa if I didn’t give you a gift, right? Not that I was really secret, though.”

“I however already know all of the gifts you’d thought of.”

“Not this one,” Pearl answered while handing the shoebox he had wrapped in a white and blue paper.

Lack-two opened the package, his eyebrow raised with suspicion. Once the content was revealed, he stared at Pearl with disbelief.

“You’re really offering me that? Do you forget it was built by a criminal?”

“It’s not  _ that _ , it’s Robort the robot, and no, I didn’t forget, but apparently my puns were good enough to change him into a benevolent robot.”

“… You’re really serious, aren’t you.”

“My salutations, Mister Lack-Two!” Robort, for the first time, spoke. “Now that my creator has been defeated, I need to put myself under someone else’s command, and what better than the two heroes who stopped the Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon? So, I will now serve you half-time!”

“Half-time?”

“Yes, I also need time for Mister Pearl after all! Though Mister Pearl and Mister Lack-Two are kinda long… Can I call you Dads instead?”

Lack-Two sighed, irritated, before locking eyes with the blond.

“Really?  _ This _ is your present?”

“Yes.”

“I hate you.”

“Don’t worry, the feeling is mutual.”

But as they parted ways to go to their Manzai play or secret investigations, the two boys were smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed, and well, maybe it is not the last adventure of Pearl, Lack-Two, and Robort, who knows?


End file.
